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If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue, but with actions and in truth. 1 John 3:17-18

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I will not lie, at one point during the day I wondered why I do this. I sign up all gung ho and then mid way through I’m asking myself what I’ve gotten myself into. That moment happened when I was elbow deep in 20 pounds of spaghetti. My time and effort felt small, so small that I wondered what good it was. Why do it? Later that night I realized that even when I feel small, God is great. Even our small gestures mean so much to people. and to Him.

It was just spaghetti after all. But to the girl who held out her hand for her plate and told me that because of us she got to eat dinner tonight, well, it wasn’t just spaghetti. It was love, it was love in action.

I’m continually amazed at those that give love in action. Like Preacher Bob, who In 1984, arrived in Knoxville, TN with only two changes of clothes and $25. He started Highways and By-Ways Ministry in 1987 after getting back on his feet through the love and help of a preacher. Highways and By-Ways Ministry was formed to help street souls one-on-one under bridges, railroad tracks, local grave yards and homeless camps in the Knoxville area.

I signed up to cook by myself and put out a call to help earlier in the week because, well, 150 people are alot to cook for:) A gigantic thanks to my friends Kerri, Marie and my ever awesome mom! Thank you so much for taking time to help and putting love into action! And I can’t forget Susie, who is there every week and gives so much to this organization.  Thank you!

ps…Preacher Bob has a new facebook fan page! Go be a fan! And if you are interested in helping out, they meet every Thursday evening and need people to sponsor/make the food! I promise it is worth it!

deep title. I know.  but I was going for the subject of purpose and the song crept in my head (can’t remember who its by now) with the lyrics “what’s this life for”.  So we are going with it but I promise this probably won’t be as deep as the title

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So I have realized that I have about 1.2 million things swirling around my head at the moment (thanks to a January packed with Imaging, Dane, and other random things) and I sit down to write and I can’t get anything out because its all so jumbled.  So, today I’m picking one thing that I’m chewing on.

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Again, mission mondays are just a random things going on in my brain.  I like to share them here to get them out, share a little of me personally, and maybe inspire someone to think on these things as well. no preachy preachy, literally just my thoughts…more for me to help process:)

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So, purpose.  why am i here? its the constant question on my mind.  always. am I where I’m supposed to be?

growing up my only true goal was to be happy.  thats it.  that still is my only goal.  whether my life is in a small house here in knoxville running my business or living in a hut overseas.  I truly am ok with any and all as long as I am happy and know that I’m where I am supposed to be.

but I struggle with knowing that I am where I’m supposed to be.  struggle with being content where I am rather than always looking forward.

This month something happened.  slowly, not sure when and where.  but I became content.  content right now, with life.

Content that I am where I need to be and that I need to make the best of it now in order to get to where I want to be.  What good is today if you throw it out in an effort to get to tomorrow?

So today I enjoyed my life.  I made the most of it.  Yes, I’m looking forward to the future; yes, God is definitely not done and I know I’m not where I’ll end up in any way but. I.am.content.

here is one of the sources of my contentment:)

I realized this morning IT’S FRIDAY! And we are overdue for a five on friday post now that the holidays, the contests, and the wedding week are behind us. So I couldn’t bring myself to do any other five post other than haiti. Because everything else seemed so silly and trivial in comparison.

I’ve made myself not watch CNN and not get wrapped up in this because I’m the type that takes things overboard (who, me!) and would be planning to catch a flight down there. I did mention to Brad that I was sure there was some Haitian babies that needed us but, no dice. yet. But in the midst of it all, I still want to honor what is going on and do a small part to give back, even if I can’t be on the ground there helping in person.

So that is what our five is today. Five ways to give back and impact a country and people in dire need of it. But before you even give back, pray. Pray for the people, those hurt and impacted by this and for those on the ground helping and administering aid. That in itself is worth more than anything.

1: So, CNN was banned but Don Miller got me! He posted this video about World Vision and I knew I had to watch. To wrap my heart around it and, even though I can’t be there or do too much, I can do something.

2: A blog I have been reading of some missionaries that live in Haiti and were there when this happened: http://ourlifeinhaiti.blogspot.com/ give you a great insight and non-media look into the devastation. Plus it gives you some specific prayer requests.

3: Oh, social media. You have changed our lives forever. When I really stop and think of how far we have come in the past even 5 years, its kind of scary, but good. Raising money via texting, tweeting and retweeting about it, posting on your facebook ways to help. This is such an awesome new phenomenon! So I’m sure you have heard about it but Text 90999 with the word “Haiti” as your message and you’ll instantly donate $10 to the American Red Cross. Plus you can post this on your facebook and/or twitter too to spread the word!

4: Love 89 has set up way to donate to Compassion on their website. Super easy and 100% trustworthy that your money is being used for good. I have had the privilege to see a Compassion project in action in Ecuador and work hand in hand with the kids and families they are impacting and it is one of the most influential things I have ever witnessed in the world! This organization is changing lives no doubt about it and the awesome thing is, you can to!

5: Another awesome way to give back and get a little something amazing from Etsy:) Go to Hearts for Haiti to buy a donated item. 100% of the money will go to Doctors without Borders. Super cute stuff on there that is screaming to be an awesome Valentine’s Day gift!

You know those days/weeks/months where you know God is weaving together some larger message to you. Where one simple song, one thought, one message, one experience all feel like they are interconnected and you are sure there is a message in there somewhere but its like putting a puzzle together and each little piece you see more. That is how this last week has been for me. I’m not sure if its the holiday season and my mind just goes to everything out there that you can do to help….or is it me working on some personal issues…I have no idea what its all about but here is what is on my heart….here are my puzzle pieces.

Puzzle piece #1: I read this blog and have mentioned it on here before. Her journey amazes and inspires me. Check out her post here for some of the background of this amazing life. Although each and every post on that blog speaks to me in more ways than one, this one just resonated in me.

Grace is maybe 60 years old but looks to be pushing 100. She can’t weigh more than 85 pounds. Grace is a mother to six children, but 4 have died of AIDS and the other two have deserted her for a better life. She lives in a 4 by 4 foot room that is pitch black, but she doesn’t mind; in addition to being to weak to walk, Grace is blind. She NEVER has any visitors. At night her bones ache against the hard dirt floor and her feeble body shivers with cold. A cough racks her body and her stomach rumbles in hunger making sleep impossible.

Its sad, huh? How sad though? Sad enough that we want to do sometime about it? Sad enough that we will remember Grace tonight as we snuggle down into our beds or next month as we pay the bills? Maybe. But maybe not. Because it hurts, but it doesn’t hurt that much. It doesn’t hurt the way it would if Grace was your grandmother all alone there in the dark. It does for God. Because Grace is His.

Puzzle piece #2: I got the privilege of going to Casting Crowns this week with some girls (thanks girls for inviting me along!!) It was an amazing concert that was more of a worship service. It was challenging to me in more ways than one…it was a call to action, I think peopleI get bogged down in the thought of the whole picture like changing the world but what it really takes is one step, one action to start making a difference. How are you going to change the world when you can’t even do one thing a day that makes a difference in this world? Two things that stood out…
-”I want to sign Your name to the end of this day knowing that my heart was true”
-”sing until the whole world hears” (The background to this song is that the lead singer had a mentor who would write back and forth to him. Every letter was signed “sing until the whole world hears”. Love that!)

The whole song “until the whole world hears” is awesome! Here it is…

Puzzle piece #3: I love quotes. I think I’ve mentioned that on here before. My fave is “be the change you wish to see in this world”. Love it. It gets me every time because you could think on those 10 words forever and it always pushes you to be more.

I ran into a quote the other day that was like that. So simple and so thoughtful. And of course I didn’t write it down so I can’t find it exactly but it was something like “the live you live everyday is the life you live.” It’s not one of those live your dreams motivational quote, its more of a slap in the face saying that gives it to you straight. While you are sitting there thinking of everything you can do and be, you are what you are doing that day, how you live each day. You can sit there and imagine your life one way but unless you are doing it and working on it daily then its just your imagination.

So, there are my puzzle pieces…not sure what the whole picture is or I may never know…but that is what has been on my heart this week. What are your puzzle pieces?

**whoops, hit publish instead of schedule and its only Sunday…oh well, an extra day to ponder:)

I drove away. In my car, with electric windows, a sunroof, with my radio on. To my home, my small but love filled home. To my family. And I felt guilty.

Who knows what his story is. I’m sure he could tell some tales. I’m sure if you got to know him you’d be surprised how much he’s like you. I’m sure he had the same big dreams all kids have about what they are going to do with their life. I mean, no one grows up wanting to be homeless, right?

You know those moments where you can see God, where you know he put that person or situation there for a reason. That is what that moment was. And I failed. I drove past him pulling out of Walgreens, happy about life, with my windows down and radio on, talking to my little girl. I failed. I used excuses like it would be a pain to turn around, he may not be there still but in reality, I was too wrapped up in my need for the $15 in my pocket than living intentionally.

It’s not about doing some grand thing to change the world on some grand scale, its about living life with a purpose and intentionally. It’s about being aware daily that you are part of a bigger plan and acting accordingly. It’s about being able to give away your $15. It’s about being thankful as you walk into your house that you have one, not complaining about the next project that needs done. It’s about living intentionally.

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About missions monday: Mission Mondays aren’t a scheduled thing here on the blog or something I plan for, its merely a way document what is going through my head and hope that maybe by sharing someone it can cause more thinking, inspiration, or even just an understanding that we all struggle.

We have been reading Blue Like Jazz in our small group lately. This is one of my all time favorite books and I love that every time I read it I’m inspired again in such different ways. Here is an excerpt from this week:

Some people skip through life; some people are dragged through it. I sometimes wonder whether we are moving through time or time is moving through us My brilliant friend Mitch says that light, unlike anything else in the universe, is not affected by time. Light, he says, exists outside of time. He tells me it has something to do with how fast it travels and that it is eternal, but it is still a mystery to physicists. I say this only because time kept traveling through me.

Is time traveling through you? Are you being dragged? If so, what can you do today to change that? I’m answering these questions myself. Some days I feel the pain of being dragged, some days I feel the wind from skipping. I think such is life, the ups and downs and constant reminder that whatever is going on, in the big scheme of things, God is in control.

I wanted to share with you two people who are skipping, despite the circumstances, and are such an inspiration.

Meet Katie: she keeps a blog here (thanks to Sarah for introducing this blog to me!). Check out the August 14th post to give you her background story. What an amazing girl who God is using! Here is an excerpt:

I am 20 years old and have 13 children and 400 more who all depend on me for their care. Who are all learning to love Jesus and be responsible adults and looking up to me. The reality of it all can be a bit overwhelming at times. However, it is always pure joy. There is a common misconception that I am courageous. I will be the first to tell you that this is not actually true. Most of the time, I am not brave. I just believe in a God who will use me even though I am not. Most mornings, before I even get out of bed I am overwhelmed with His goodness, with His plan for my life; I stand in awe of the fact that He could entrust me with so much. Most days, I don’t have much of a plan. I don’t always know where this is going. I can’t see the end of the road, but here is the great part: Courage is not about knowing the path. It is about taking the first step. It is about Peter, getting out of the boat. I do not know my five year plan; even tomorrow will probably not go as I have planned. I am thrilled and I am terrified, in a good way. So some call it courage, some call it foolish, I call it Faith. I choose to get out of the boat. To take the next step. Sometimes I walk straight into His arms. More often, I get scared and look down and stumble. Sometimes I almost completely drown. And through it all, He never lets go of my hand.

Here is a link to her organization if you want to learn more or donate:

Mark Horvath: Formally homeless, lover of twitter, and showing the world a side of homeless that we so need to see.

Here’s an excerpt from his blog:

Why Me

I can’t spell, I hate to write and the only grammar I know
used to bake me cookies.

Why me? I ask myself that all the time. Mostly I wonder why God chooses to use me since knowing myself, I figure I must be His Plan B! Of course, God rarely shares with me His reasoning, but sometimes – maybe even years later – I see how He orchestrated my past for His divine purpose in the present. I constantly stand in awe of what God continues to do in my life and in the lives of my friends. Here’s what I know: if you stay on your knees, love God, love people, and live your life with all the gusto you can muster… then fasten your seat belt – you’re going to have an exciting journey!

there are a few things close to my heart. one is missions. anything that has to do with reaching out and impacting your world. missions isn’t just going to some exotic location and living in a hut, it’s stepping out your door in the morning and deciding to make a difference, even in the little things.

when my sister and I were little, I think I was about 7, we would get these pamphlets on adoption and such at our church and talk about the want of a sibling. then we would strategically lay these pamphlets around hoping mom and dad would get the hint. kids I tell you…I actually have never even told my parents this so I’m not even sure they noticed our covert operation:) obviously, our plan folded with no sibling to be had but my parents gave us something even better-shortly after that we moved to serve overseas and in a number of Asian countries I got to experience hands on with these orphans, their day to day, how they lived, how they still loved life even in the midst of things, and go play with them and befriend them. It was eye opening, inspiring, heartbreaking, life changing for me-all rolled into one. Years later, I would have the opportunity to work with kids, teenagers, here in our own state of TN who were up for adoption and living with the state as their parents and seeing the struggle and heartache of just wanting to know they are loved. It’s sad when the closest thing a kid has in their life is you, their social worker.

adoption is missions. it is changing the world. a child’s life that will be so impacted by having a place in this world and knowing they are loved. that is huge! our friends, Greg and Jessica, are in the midst of adopting a little girl, Claire, from Taiwan. This cost is huge. They are accepting donations with some sweet prizes to be had (mmm, can you say Chikfila for a year?!) Go check out their website for a list of prizes and to donate.

Also, if you think adoption may be your mission, check out Bethany (an awesome adoption service for both USA and international adoption!)

Sometimes it’s the little things. You know, seeing God work in the slightest of smiles. Changing someones day by a kind word. This is how it was when I visited the Hogar del Nino in Guatemala. Coming from a background of working with the Children’s Services and seeing first hand the group homes of TN and having experienced some orphanages in China and Korea that made your heart break, I went in prepared. I was prepared to see kids who were in need, in need of love, food, support, a future. But the only thing I found there was what I wasn’t prepared for. Love. The littlest thing of sitting there holding a baby showed me God that day.

This was their home. They were so well taken care of and so well loved. This children’s home was built with love and a hope for these kids. Here is a video of some of their stories.